19 Comments
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Allyson Lyne's avatar

Deciding if this will be a meat week or a cheese week. But the kids grew up to be smart and beautiful. Also excellent cooks and able to plan menus on cost-per-portion. ❤️

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Pamela Cheslatta's avatar

I remember those tough tough days. Thanks for writing about it. I did not buy any clothes for me for 7 years. I remember my daughter telling one of her friends' mothers that I did not like clothes. I just never wanted them to know how poor we were.

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Truth wins's avatar

I remember being hungry but my daughter never was. My daughter didn’t have fancy clothes but she was clean and clothed. Most importantly she was loved, taught right from wrong, imagination from our playing and taught self sufficiency and to stand up for what was right. I still buy used clothes as recycling makes sense to me. She does as well. She independently moved to Zurich Switzerland and lives happily with her husband and two children. She teaches them not to covet things and they wear gently used clothing. She’s passing along what she learned.

We both donate regularly to food banks with gratitude.

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Ralph Calabretta's avatar

WOW, I liked you before but now even more. Didn’t know this about you. You’re a GREAT MOM !!

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Art Harrison's avatar

My story has some similarities. I didn’t always make the best choices in life but after I separated from my ex-wife and had two little girls to raise half of the time while I went back to college and retrained, I could only hope it was going to be worth it. Theoretically, I could have gone back to my original job at some point after I was laid off but I went back to school instead. It was what tore apart our relationship. I worked part-time, went to school, raised my girls, and after a few years I started getting decent positions at decent pay. It was awfully tight for a few years though and I still feel like I blew up my kids world when they were young.

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Annette Matisz's avatar

I believe you did the best you could under those circumstances!! Hindsight is always 20/20 :) Peace ✌🏼

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Michael Klein's avatar

Yes, I too believe we must keep calm and carry on, perhaps not defiantly, but matter-of-factly. It really matters to the children.

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Sharon P's avatar

What a lovely post and picture of your young family~♡

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Joanne Crawford's avatar

Arlene, I’ve admired your writing for sometime and your moral compass. Thank you for sharing your story.

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Brenda Markland's avatar

You have nothing to be ashamed of in this respect. You went through a hard time, kept your kids together, and now you and they are in a better position.

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Virginia King-Bolley's avatar

Enough to rip your heart out, and realize the truth of the matter!

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Glenn Manderson's avatar

You sound like my mother except she had 9 children and it was the 50's and 60's.

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Trish Findlay's avatar

Post war my brother and I learned never to ask. Then 30 yrs later as a solo parent I would cash my cheque, sit on the floor with the kids and the bills and have them take one and count the bills on top of each one…. we still had to go to the office of each utility to pay a monthly bill then. Then we would go to buy groceries having looked at the flyers and made a 2 wk menu list in my head. The items on regular use on sale, if it was a “good pay period” I would buy an extra for the pantry cupbd. The items in the pantry were staples, one replacement ahead. I showed them how with pasta and canned tomatoes one never was truly short, that a cheap roast on sale cut up made numerous meals that buying pre cut stew looking at the cost per lb was a better deal. On a REALLY good pay period, we would get a pizza.

Cooking from scratch and making “Cream of Kitchen soup out of the bits at the end of the wk was a habit that not only was tasty but frugal. BUT nothing was a expensive as it is now and it pains me to see the stressed faces in the grocery store and the empty shelf of off brand goods at the Dollarama near the downtown core of elder apartments.

My mother was scarred from surviving the Depression but taught me well. I, in turn taught my children that if but one charity is on your list, let it be the Salvation Army who runs the local food bank. It saddens me further that no one wants the lore of cooking basics learned from prior generations and will use plastic to buy takeout and dig an ever deeper hole.

Thank you for writing this piece. I don’t need reminding but perhaps the tricks of making do need revival.

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Wendy McGraw's avatar

You are a great teacher and model. Thanks for sharing.

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Peter Spurway's avatar

Been there.

I remember joking to myself, “I don’t have any money problems because I don’t have any money.”

Over coming those seemingly endless hard times through hard work and luck taught me some real life lessons.

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Terry Reith's avatar

Hi Arlene. Thank you for writing about your experience. Many will see you as a successful businessperson, but never understand the struggle of people on limited incomes. I am a longtime journalist, now trying to write about issues that matter on Substack and took on a similar issue in the piece I wrote today. I struggled with how much of myself and my own story to inject. You have shown me that the heart is what matters most. This is an important topic and I appreciate your call to action. It’s time for me to volunteer at the Edmonton Food Bank, as well as sending a contribution.

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Robert Kapostins's avatar

Well said. Once we pass the barrier of counting our dollars, we have less stress. I lived on a farm for 25 years. Deer were in the back forty. A man came to me and said that he had no winter meat for the family, and I’f I did well in the hunt, could he have some. Of course I said yes. I was party hunting that season. I was fortunate to get two. I called him and he came within an hour. Gods grace.

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